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The Wool-gatherer is the pseudonym of Hugh Parry. I have taught literature courses in adult education for around 30 years. A few of my victims have been with me for much, or even all, of that time. Leaving aside the personal pleasure of this, a professional advantage is that I have always needed to look …

Z IS FOR:

OUTLINED EPITAPH 4A Russian has three and a half red eyesfive flamin antennasdrags a beet coloured ball an chainan’ wants t slip germsinto my coke machine“burn the tree stumps at the border”shout the sex hungry lunaticsout warmongerin in the early mornin“poison the sky so the planes wont come”yell the birch coloured knights withpatriotic shields“an murder …

X IS FOR:

'X' MARKS THE SPOT (were you really expecting anything else?) BUT Y IS FOR: THE SECRET WOODWhere there is nothing more to seeThan this old earth-bound treeThat years ago dry sawdust bledBut sprouts each spring a leaf or twoAs though it tried not to be dead,Or that down-hanging broken boughThat keeps its withered leaves till …

W IS FOR:

IMPRESSION DU MATINThe Thames nocturne of blue and goldChanged to a Harmony in grey:A barge with ochre-coloured hayDropt from the wharf: and chill and coldThe yellow fog came creeping downThe bridges, till the houses’ wallsSeemed changed to shadows and St Paul’sLoomed like a bubble o’er the town.Then suddenly arose the clangOf waking life; the streets …

V IS FOR:

VANITY OF SPIRITQuite spent with thoughts I left my Cell, and layWhere a shrill spring tun’d to the early day.I beg’d here long, and gron’d to knowWho gave the Clouds so brave a bow,Who bent the spheres, and circles inCorruption with this glorious Ring,What is his name, and how I mightDescry some part of his …

U IS FOR:

THE DARK CHAMBERThe brain forgets but the blood will remember.There, when the play of sense is over,The last, low spark in the darkest chamberWill hold all there is of love and lover.The war of words, the life-long quarrelOf self against self will resolve into nothing;Less than the chain of berry-red coralCrying against the dead black …

T IS FOR:

PETSAn indoor elephantSeems irrelevant.Keeping a seagullIs not legal.ArmadillosNest in pillows.Hungry llamasEat pyjamas.Hippo and rhinoDamage the lino.Crocodiles stayIn the bath all day.Women are flusteredIf a large bustard,Eagle or lionWatches them iron.Such birds as grouseFlap through the houseAnd polar bearsBlock up the stairs.Sheep are loafersOn chairs and sofasAnd few sane menCan love a hen.Most people thereforePrefer to …

S IS FOR:

ROBERT THE RHYMER’S TRUE AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF HIMSELFRobert the Rhymer who lives at the LakesDescribes himself thus, to prevent mistakes;Or rather, perhaps, be it said, to correct them,There being plenty about for those who collect them.He is lean of body and lank of limb:The man must walk fast who would overtake him.His eyes are …

R IS FOR:

Strangely quiet, the cliffs are, as we approach.The sea swallows the sound until, suddenly,As though a door were opened into a hall(A prayer meeting, a gaggle of gossiping talkers)It’s there, around us. And the sky in shredsWith whirling birds.Now I am earthbound in a city of fliers,A rooted maypole, while about my headThe dancers weave …

Q IS FOR:

O how my disappointed soul’s perplex’d!How restless thoughts swarm in my troubled breast!How vainly pleas’d with hopes, then crossly vex’dWith fears! and how betwixt them both distress’d!What place is left unransack’d? Oh, where nextShall I go seek the author of my rest?Of what bless’d angel shall my lips enquireThe undiscover’d way to that entireAnd everlasting …

P IS FOR:

ODE ON CELESTIAL MUSIC It’s not celestial music, it’s the girl in the bathroom singing.You can tell. Although it’s winterthe trees outside her window have grown leaves,all manner of flowers push up through the floorboards.I think – ‘what a filthy trick that is to play on me’ –I snip them with my scissors shouting‘I want …